A life with just God

I wonder sometimes, if faith does have limits. How intimate can you be with a God that never sits down to eat dinner with you? You can't touch him or hold him and for the most part he is very silent. Can God really get rid of all my loneliness? Is he really every bit of what we need? No matter how hard I try to love God above everything else, I fail at it. I really do want to love God in a manner in which that he is all that I desire. My loneliness reminds me that I'm not married. The Call History on my phone tells me that almost no one thinks about me. If God is all that I need, why do I feel so forlorn and deserted? We need each other more than we'd like to admit it. God is my sustainer but I'm still thirsty for a companion. A dog just doesn't fulfill it either, that hole in my soul. In his word God tells us he doesn't want us to be lonely. It seems to be contradictory of his word for someone to tell you that God is enough. When we are ailing health we will find that we need people to help us. We can not live without each other here. Selfishness has told us that we have no use for anyone else. If we did not need each other we would not be able to talk. There would be no need for communication with others. You may think you can do everything on your own, but if this is true, why do we have police and public servants? Why do we have doctors and lawyers? Why do we have plumbers and locksmiths and people specifically hired to wipe your butt if you can't do it? I hope that you notice that God created needs. Someday you might end up lonely and you may not have a pat little answer for your agony. I believe that God completes us the most, but he doesn't do it all by himself. If he did we wouldn't have mothers and fathers for long. We would've been hatched. I am amazed at all the things that others tell you to get you out of their hair. Maybe I would not want them as a friend any way. It would be a waste being involved with a person who tells you dumb things to get out of any kind of social responsibility. Most people who call themselves my friends are never there for me. I have a few saints in my life that do not fail me, but they can not be there all the time. They are very busy ambitious people, but they love me and do the most for me when they can. I hope that my whole life is not like this. It is hell for me in the times when I don't have anyone dedicated to me. I am not totally hopeless, but sometimes I feel like I could just eat a mouth full of sod. It is hard enough just being me. Some days are so bad, I couldn't care if the sun fell on me, but I do love God. I won't stop loving him, but I do feel alone, even if I live in worship all day long. I need a God. He is the only thing that holds me together and keeps me from losing it. I have every excuse to blow my head off, but I probably never will.  God does keep my path straight. He keeps me alive and somehow I still manage to say life is precious, when I feel like eating a bullet. I guess I can live a life with just God, but what kind of life?