The discovered truth of Ecclesiastes

I am starting to wonder if much is really important in this world. Everything we hope and dream for ends up being boring if we (by some miracle of God) get what we want. The dream is more exciting than it happening. Once it comes true, then we have to dream again. I used to be real excited about getting laid when I was younger, the feeling that I had afterwards was always shame, no matter how great it felt. The odd thing is that after you've done it two or three full nights, it starts to feel more and more like work. It's amazing how bad you can feel about doing something that's natural. Sex used to be the only thing I ever thought about. I wish I had waited until I married somebody. This is a stain on me. It doesn't go away easy. So, the trophies in a man's mind, aren't as good, once he has a lot of them. Naked girls start looking like naked girls, instead of godesses. One day you don't care about getting laid. You just end up sickened by your self. It is definately not as important as I one thought. I still think I would love sex, but it is part of something and something else completes it. It doesn't make you complete. It will make you empty if you misuse it. Love completes sex and I hope I don't slip up in this again. I want to wait until I'm married, I really do. I think marriage would be great, but for how long? I am afraid that if I had a wife I would get sick of her. I worry that I would be a lousy husband. I want a wife, but I wonder if you can really love somebody forever. I'm scared that I can't. This is supposed to be one of the most important things in life, but as I get older it just sound like pure terror. What good is a beautiful wife if she doesn't love you? You die and people forget about you. There are graves that noone knows about anymore. Everything seems like a waste, even if God has a reason for them. I hate life more and more, and I love God more and more. He is the only relevent thing on this Earth. Everything elses kind of makes me sad in the end.