The hardest thing to forgive

The hardest thing I ever forgave has in some ways scarred me for life. It was nineteen ninety four and I was living in Orlando at the time that this event happened. My life was very fast, I would get wasted every night and stay up till almost daylight sometimes. In the month of may of that year, I met a woman named Michelle. She was a very sweet gal and I really began to like her a lot. I was beginning to love her. We would hang out together in this bar called Skinny's every other night, she thought I was very funny and she was starting to feel gooey towards me. I guess she still had feelings for her other boyfriend because the thing between us never became a relationship. After about a month I began to feel like I was being teased. I got angry with her and told her that I just wanted to be friends. I don't know if i meant it. Later that night when I got off work I went and bought her a rose and gave it to her. I was in love with her and she wasn't in love with me. I told her that I would be back later to talk to her. I went and watched amateur boxing at night club that was at that time called Zuma Beach. After watching a couple of really good fights and drinking a few zima's, I went down and chatted with my friend Rambo that sold sausages on Orange Avenue. We talked about all the pretty girls that walked by and laughed and joked until about one- thirty. I walked back over to Skinny's and saw Michelle with another guy, she looked happy and so I did not bother her and I went back to hang out with Rambo. We talked for about another hour, about everything from his days in Chicago to the homeless begging him for sausages. At two- thirty I staggered home drunk to the hotel. I crashed very hard and woke up at noon. I turned on the news and heard," Police are looking for leads in a horrific murder that happened dowtown overnight." Some of the details made me wonder if it was Michelle. I walked down to the scene of the murder which was behind Scruffy Murphy's which was right next door to Skinny's. There were police and crime scene units all over the parking lot. I walked over to the alley that the invstigators were walikng in and out of. I knew it was michelle. " Was that Michelle that was killed? I think this girl I've been seeing is the victim." I said. I was then asked by the FBI to walk into a nearby office to be questioned. That asked me rather intimate questions about her. They told me I was free to go afterwards. The next evening ,they announced that a very sick crime had been committed and announced that the name of the victim was Michelle MgGrath. I was sick for days and got even sicker when I discovered that friends of mine and hers were calling the Crime Line and saying that they thought I had committed the murder. I later took a blood test to clear my name. The FBI profiler was saying all along that I couldn't have done it, I learned later from someone who watched an episode of COURT TV several years later. It took me a few months after they caught the real killer to forgive him. I was sick and sad for several months. I forgave all the people that said that I did it. This took a very long time.